Suffering

I've recently come to the very clear realization that I have not experienced much suffering. I'm not asking to, of course. I'm just amazed.  More than at my own lack of suffering, I'm amazed at how strong so many people are around me. And not to make any gender claims, but I've recently been very impressed with some of the women in my life and their ability to suffer with inexplicable amounts of grace.  I feel weak. I can't help compare myself or imagine what it would be like for me, and I always come to the conclusion that put in their shoes, I would crumble. They have faced death, divorce, miscarriages, illness, relational injustices, financial misfortunes and they are strong. What do I mean by strong? They continue working, they answer questions to the very nosy public, they take care of their families, they make tough decisions, they confront others, they humbly ask for help with immense dignity, and they just... live. They don't shut down or shut in. They don't whine, stomp their feet or shake their fists.  They smile, with that soft, tender smile that encourages me, instead of me encouraging them.  


I feel like I'm in a training camp. I want to watch them, talk to them, or rather listen. I want to see how they do it, that I might one day show that same grace. I am definitely impressed. Impressed: I have been marked and affected by their example and I hope to walk forward differently, wiser and a little sturdier.