My (current) story, my trilogy

      I have never felt so powerless in my entire life.  This is largely due to the fact that I can’t remember anything before 1989 and already back then I felt pretty powerful.  In fact, I think I’ve always thought I was in charge of my life, behind the steering wheel, captain of my ship or whatever other comparison there is.  I thought I was it: the one that made decisions and made things happen.  Not so much anymore.  I have entered a moment in life, that not only requires that I acknowledge my powerlessness, but also questions any power I thought I had before.  Though never before a Lord of the Rings fanatic, allow me this possibly flawed analogy (as a tribute to my oldest brother, Danny).

            I liken myself to Frodo, a seemingly insignificant member of society, with no great strength or out-of-the ordinary talents, commissioned into a great adventure.  I am instantly humbled by this immense privilege and responsibility, knowing that many would gladly take my place.  I have been given many resources for my journey, including, like Merry, Pippin and Samwise Gamgee, an amazing group of people to accompany me on this journey.  And boy do I need them! 

            Like the precious ring, the treasure I carry, though the size of a lime, has not only immeasurable value but also surprising power.  Already, “my precious” has flooded me with a multitude of emotions including but not limited to joy, fear, exhaustion, excitement, frustration, optimism, helplessness and pride.  Throughout my day, my thoughts are constantly bent toward this gift I’ve been given.  It has changed my life so much already, my eating and sleeping, social interactions, household chores and even identity, that I am keenly aware its power over my heart and mind.

            Poor old Gollum was unable to resist the ring’s call to worship…